Pain. Deep pain.

Right now I am sitting on my floor, looking at old pictures, reading letters that they wrote to me, and crying. Every movie I watch reminds me. Everyone asks me. I dream about it. It hurts.
I've hit my low for the week.
At Capernwray, we used to do "highs and lows" of the week. This week, my high was when Gracie told her dad "I don't want Deborah to go home! She makes me happy."
And now... is my low. Sometimes I just want to forget... but that would be even sadder.
mewithoutYou is blowing my mind right now. "Four Word Letter (pt2)" just came on shuffle and it pretty much encapsulates my mood. Sad, angry, but sad.
In other news, I'm getting my haircut tomorrow. Not sure if I'll chop it all off, or if I'll just get it under control. We'll see.