Same mistakes over... and over.

I had a dream that I went to see him.
I woke up, fearful that I won't be able to guard my heart this time either.
I've made this mistake before, and I don't want to make it again.
I get my hopes up, I imagine the way I wish it could be, and I am crushed when it doesn't happen.
Can I honestly do that when I know how I will react? Why must they be so wonderful to me?
It makes life SO confusing.