Trepidation.

Yesterday I went to a friend's birthday celebration. As I was talking to her dad, he said "WHOAH... 3 jobs and 2 classes? You certainly like to keep busy!"
It's true. I've realized the past couple days that I am pretty much in constant motion. I love making huge changes, but I'm bad a gradual changes. I'm bad at transitions.

I realized that I don't even have time for a boyfriend. I hardly have time to eat most days. My life is packed with purpose and direction, but it's not very open for building relationships.
I have my work cut out for me. I have a lot of work to do... praise the Lord that I don't have to do it alone.
I want to make room... but I don't want to unless it will be filled. I thought it was going to be before... but it wasn't. I always dreamed of this picture happening... but it didn't. Will it? You can read body language, but not motives. Tone, but not meaning. Result? Turmoil.
Is this sudden? Not really. I've been thinking about it for about 2 weeks. In my dream last night we were watching a movie, and I was resting my head on your shoulder. You showed me all your favorite places, and I woke up realizing that I have to take precautions for my heart. I just don't know how to go about them. A conversation? Not going? Hoping that I don't repeat the same mistakes?