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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

My Psalm.

This Monday (yesterday) we had prayer day. It was really good for me, because I had been feeling like God's just SOO far away... and I haven't had the desire to fix the relationship or read my Bible or talk to Him at ALL. So our principle suggested a bunch of things to do on prayer day, and one of the suggestions was writing your own Psalm. At first, I kinda scoffed at him and was like "yeahhh sure... not me!" but then, as soon as I finished that thought, I started writing a Psalm in my head. I wasn't trying to... but it just happened. I ran to my favorite place in Schladming, a metal landing, looking over a gorgeous waterfall, and my pen just flew over the page. This is the result... and how I felt.

My Psalm

Lord, where are you now? I can’t find you!
And I can’t go on by myself
I looked in the mirror, trying to see you
But all I saw was myself

I’m tired of human emotions
All I want in your peace
But I’ve lost the will to pursue you
So please, come chase after me

You said you’d never leave a sheep behind
So I know you wouldn’t leave me
I give you my sorrows, and all my grief
Because you can bear my pain

Your ways, O Lord, they confuse me!
I just can’t figure you out
You say when I’m weak, then I’m strongest
I can’t fathom your unfailing love

I’m holding onto something tightly
I don’t want to give up control
You ask me to give it over
It will hurt, but you already know

Steer me and give me direction!
I don’t know where to go!
And dry these tears as you lead me
The reasons, you already know

Lord, I still struggle to praise you
And deep inside, it still hurts
But now I can feel you around me
I’m not alone anymore.

After I wrote this, I decided to read a "legit" Psalm... so my Bible flipped open to Psalm 13. Check it out. It's a Psalm of sorrow. It's actually a lot like mine... and I found that SO comforting. Psalm 13 was written by David... a man after God's own heart. He was so wise, and loved by God... yet, he still had moments of overwhelming sorrow. Prayer day came at the perfect time for me, and I feel so refreshed. Refreshed from the presence of the Lord.

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