Fulfilled promises.

I am now sipping my espresso. It is, in fact, my second coffee beverage of the day. As I sip it, I realize this was not the wisest thing I have ever done. I feel my fingers begin to tingle, as caffeine begins to coarse through my body. The aroma itself makes my eyes bigger.
My name is Deborah... and I'm a coffee addict.

Some things in life are reliable. Coffee's affect on me, for instance. Others, are not. The sermon on Sunday was about loyalty. I don't think I had ever heard a sermon on it before. It was brilliant. It came from the angle of disloyalty. He said "Disloyalty is hard to see in the mirror." He used Peter as an example. He proclaimed his allegiance to Jesus, but in the end, he denied that he even knew him.
It's made me analyze my own reliability and loyalty. I often consider others unreliable; and it is hard to trust people after many have let me down. But what about me? I have let go of and ended friendships and relationships. Is this disloyalty? I've spent the last 3 days thinking about this. And this is the question I'm left with; how can you be loyal to someone who is consistently disloyal to you? I truly believe that is why I had to end my friendships and relationship. Loyalty, like communication is a two-way street, is it not?
I suppose to a certain degree, I like predictability. Not because I like to be in control, or because I appreciate things that are mundane... but because it's reliable.
I think loyalty is often misinterpreted. For some reason, we (myself included) have come to think that loyalty means sticking by someone no matter how much crap they put us through. Long-suffering does not mean that we are literally suffering because of someone else.
I feel such freedom in Christ. He is the most reliable thing I've ever known.