A Reason for Joy

I don't belong.

I love rain too much.

I don't belong.

I want to see some sheep.

I don't belong.

I miss everything about Capernwray. Everything but the cold showers and potatoes for a meal.

I miss the rolling hills and green grass... jumping in puddles... joking about Leviticus.

I miss it all so much I don't even know how to describe it. It's like I want to sob but my tear tank is on empty.

Will I ever see you all again?

Do you even remember who I am?
I am just another person who went to Capernwray.

One in a million.

What makes me special?
Why did so many people get happy endings and I'm bummed because I just want to see you again?

This is dumb.

Buy a ticket. Pick up the phone. Write a letter.

I miss you, for crying out loud.

What do I do now?
How do I move on?
I don't know if I can.

Can one live without such a large portion of their heart?

Why did such a large part end up in one place?
I'm frustrated.

I'm nostalgic.

I hate the word nostalgic.

I think it's over-used.

BUT I AM.

I am finding it so hard to be content.

So hard not to hurt.

Impossible not to cry.