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Monday, March 14, 2011

In desperate need of a haircut.

When my heart gets broken, I want a haircut.
I don't know if it's because I need a change to feel good about myself... or because I just need a change... or if it's because I realize I really neeeed a haircut.
Today I decided that there's too much crap in my life... so I cleaned out my closet. Most of it anyway. Eventually I became overwhelmed and now I'm sitting in an even bigger mess than when I started. Sounds like life, hmm?
There are some feelings I hate, but regret and foolishness are the highest on the list. I've felt both of those today. I felt regret when I came to the box I thought was full of stuff from my old boyfriend. To my joyous surprise, I remembered as soon as I opened it that I had already thrown all that stuff away and instead of holding bitter memories, the box is filled of letters I received while I was at Capernwray. I have postcards from my travels. As I walked down memory lane, I began to cry... and remember the ways I gave my heart away, feeling foolish.
Like I said, I need a haircut.
I wish I was a painter so I could paint all my emotions and no one would know what the painting really means except for me, the one who poured my heart into it.
But I'm not a painter.

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