A Reason for Joy

Why do I put myself down so easily? I find it extremely hard to make friends. I never think people actually want to spend time with me. How should I expect anyone to want to be my friend if I don't even want to be friends with myself??? This is what I ask myself.
As I am in this new college atmosphere, I find myself insecure mingling with guys. I'm so scared that I will end up surrounding myself with a bunch of jerks again. That's not what I want. I want to be a sister in Christ to these young men, but I also want to be treated like a precious sister. I suppose I've been burned in the past and I just don't want that to happen again. I want to make awesome guy friends like Derek and Jeremiah. Oh how I WISH they were here instead of Canada and Chicago. I miss them so much. I don't know to even go about building friendships with them. I wish I could snap my fingers and instantly have a Godly, encouraging, precious group of friends.
As I walk across campus, I am almost screaming inside of myself... pleading the Lord to help me learn to be patient. His timing is perfect. He can look at the heart... and meanwhile, I've been exhausting myself trying to figure out who I should spend time with purely based on what I can see. For now, I must study. I must offer my requests, my hopes, my longings to my almighty father.

"Almighty, infinite father... faithfully loving your own...

here in our weakness you find us, falling before your throne."